Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
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A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"
Why did the blonde roast a chicken for three and a half days?
The instructions said ‘cook it for half an hour per pound’, and she weighed 125.
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.
“How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager.
“$200″ – he replied.
“That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde.
The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted.
Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled.
“Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied.
After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators.
He decided to go out and check on her.
When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.
Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse?
So she won't shit on the street during a parade.