Joke #3392

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, sex
Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?  A: An IN-body experience!
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, science
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, blonde, travel
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, math
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?", the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Vote: has 78.50 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde