Joke #871

There a ventriloquist telling blond joke . A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know." The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"
Vote:
has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"
Vote:
has 74.33 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, time, travel
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away. The other blonde asks what he's doing. "Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones." "No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’
Vote:
has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde.
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, insulting, stupid
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos.” The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.” The blonde says, “Oh! I could use something like that! I’ll take it!” The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos, “I just got this yesterday, isn’t it wonderful! It’s a thermos and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!” The boss asks, “And what do you have in it?” The blonde replies, “Some coffee and a popsicle.”
Vote:
has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?" The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."
Vote:
has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions.
Vote:
has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
Vote:
has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, death
How do you guess a blond played at you’re computer? The joystick is on the chair.
Vote:
has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings! She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!" The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."
Vote:
has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde