Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.