Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
Vote:
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Vote:
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something.
They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them.
Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes.
The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!"
The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
Vote:
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Vote:
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Vote:
At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet.
The man leans in, "Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook."
"Wow," says the guy. "I can't believe you're so smart! I'm taking you home."
Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Hey, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the mailman."
"What happened?" asks the guy.
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy.
"Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife's nightgown," reports the parrot.
"Oh no!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"I don't know," says the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."