Joke #3411

Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 55.34 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
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has 45.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, work
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
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has 12.61 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal