Joke #1509

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Vote:
has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
Vote:
has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already." Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?" Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!" Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back."
Vote:
has 82.29 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote:
has 75.52 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
Vote:
has 23.03 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."
Vote:
has 79.43 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, doctor
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
Vote:
has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Vote:
has 31.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT