Joke #1509

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina? A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
Vote: has 9.99 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, republican
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
Vote: has 75.83 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, death, fish, little Johnny