Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Do I have any chance to win? Asks the boxer. Off course! Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.
Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.