Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call. Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife." Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him." Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team.