Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
What is the noisiest game? Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!
Why are black people so good at Basketball? Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer? The torturer would apologize first.
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA