Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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Your mama so fat, that she can use herself as a bowling ball and get 10 strikes in all of the lanes!
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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A true story, according to the LA Times.....
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.
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"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”