Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
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What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed,
"You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered.
"Look."
He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway.
"Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox."
"Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby.
If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"