Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
I think that it is better to give that to get. You have a very generous thinking. Are you a humanitarian? No, I’m a boxer.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England." "Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago."
A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself." The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"