Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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The Winter Olympics.
Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
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Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
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Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed?
Ten-ish.
What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer?
The torturer would apologize first.