Joke #4255

Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!

A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!

Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up." He came back and said: "We both have the same problem.”

Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"

Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.

Two NBA basketball referees were walking through the countryside and they noticed some tracks. The first said, "Deer tracks?" "No," replied the second, "Bear tracks." The conversation ended abruptly when the train hit them.

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."

I think that it is better to give that to get. You have a very generous thinking. Are you a humanitarian? No, I’m a boxer.

Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!

The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"