Joke #3449

A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Vote: has 43.61 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call. Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife." Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him." Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Vote: has 17.45 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, sport, wife
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Vote: has 77.34 % from 197 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer? The torturer would apologize first.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Vote: has 31.06 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, gym, phone, sport, time
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
Vote: has 65.52 % from 127 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, soccer, sport
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, sport