A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on. The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?" The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?" Will: "I don't know." Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer SMACK! Anna:OW! Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna? Anna: Andy punched me! Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy? Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Don’t marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. Cricket
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.