A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice says, "You will find no fish there."
The drunk looks up, ignores it, and continues on.
The voice booms again, "You will find no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?"
The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Why is there no mexican olympics?
Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises.
‘Tell me,’ says the doctor.
‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’
‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
Vote:
Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
He was a colourful boxer.
Black and blue all over.
Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!