Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box?
High five!
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Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.
One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied.
"You haven’t touched me in months.
We’re going to talk about sex right now!"
"OK, OK.
So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Your mama so fat, that she can use herself as a bowling ball and get 10 strikes in all of the lanes!
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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