Joke #3692

Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!
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Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
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Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
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In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
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Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils. One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Julia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was. Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion. Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?' 'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
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The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
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Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
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Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
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"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
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