"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.