Joke #3208

"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."

A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."

What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!

Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...

Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.

Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.