How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining.
She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!"
Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."