How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
After an accident...
1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first.
2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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Q: What is height of Stupidity?
A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.