Joke #3474

Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.
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Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO? I don't know, I've never seen either one.
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Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
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A man standing at a urinal notices that he's being watched by a midget. "Wow," comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!" Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee. Suddenly, the midget pulls up a step ladder right next to the urinal and says, "Listen, I know this is a rather strange request, but as they're so admirable, I wonder if I could take a closer look." Again the man is rather startled, but sees no real harm in it. Just then, the midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says, "OK, hand me your wallet, or I'll jump off the ladder!"
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How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
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A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"
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Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
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What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
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According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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