Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.
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A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire?
Both of them.
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.
Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?"
"Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly.
After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says
"If my proof falls then I rome through the halls."
Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob.
The man is confused and says "what are you doing?"
She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some."
The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did.
Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good.
The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping
"Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch."
Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?"
She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.