Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.
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John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Vote:
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One...men will screw anything.
Vote:
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions!
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.
They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.
When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.
He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.