Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...