Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.
After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed.
So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband.
On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed.
The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out.
As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across?
A: A double dirty crosser.