Joke #3487

I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, men