Joke #3473

Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
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If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
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Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
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After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
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A man in a pub asks for a beer. The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar." "One dollar?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?" "Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars." "Two dollars?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"." The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
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How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
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What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!
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Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
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A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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