Joke #3473

Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: men

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3 guys walk into a bar The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world" The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world" The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world" The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world" The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?
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Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears? Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
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Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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has 82.83 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, men, time
Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. "In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional." With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen" said Bob.
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has 80.02 % from 558 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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has 14.46 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, men