There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO? I don't know, I've never seen either one.