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Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx
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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta.
Bad command or file name.
Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
A programmer went to the store to buy milk.
His partner said, "While you're there, buy eggs."
The programmer never returned.
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