Joke #3509

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor?" "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."

Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"

Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.

What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"

Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?" Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)

A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises? Or do they just smash it into their faces?

"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"

Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.