Joke #3509

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor?" "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
Vote: has 70.90 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot.
Vote: has 46.83 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

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Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.70 % from 395 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote: has 81.92 % from 588 votes. Send joke:

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
Vote: has 68.44 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife. Boy:- papa mom has died. father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, kids, wife
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I’m here for a urine test."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success." Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, doctor, kids