Joke #4523

He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids

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One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids? A: Cocoa puffs.
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has 52.43 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
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has 45.60 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
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has 12.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: kids
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
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has 80.75 % from 912 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
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has 57.39 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, marriage, sex
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin? It was OK. It was a safety pin.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids
Jimmy's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Jimmy." Jimmy says, "Now! I can see why they threw him out!
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has 76.61 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: baby, heaven, kids