Joke #9869

What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
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has 32.95 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, women
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
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has 53.60 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce
This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, money, work
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal