What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?"
The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Two flies sit on a pile of poop.
One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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