Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?
A: Fuck if I know
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Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
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When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?"
But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
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Undertaker to bereaved husband.
When did you 1st notice your wife was dead?
Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide.
‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian.
The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that section.
It’s empty.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian.
‘They don’t often bring them back.'
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.
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