Joke #5368

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
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has 84.34 % from 514 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.38 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
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has 73.01 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.” She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing. “That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it. The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises. “Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.” “You’re absolutely right sweetheart, ”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. “Now why were you laughing?” she asked. “You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered. “True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. “Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?” “Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
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has 85.55 % from 1453 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, marriage, sex, wedding
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
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has 75.48 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, medical, parrot, viagra
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
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has 32.01 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, food
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
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has 82.25 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, sport
A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty