Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.
Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend.
‘Y’ know,’ he says.
‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student.
‘Well,’ replies Nigel.
‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’
She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card.
Sex: F
He laughs.
Mom: "Whats so funny?"
Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it."
Husband died laughing.
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Vaginas are like weather.
When it's wet, it's time to go inside.