Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
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Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?
I ll get you next slime.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”