Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow," says the bartender.
"That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
Q: What goes "oom... oom"?
A: A cow walking backward!
Vote:
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Vote:
How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."