Joke #1492

What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
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has 64.33 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur

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Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
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has 59.59 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dinosaur
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
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has 58.24 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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has 42.19 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur, phone
Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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has 57.64 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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has 45.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur
In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove. "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?" "I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno." "I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history." "Do you have Shakespeare in English?"
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has 56.57 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, dinosaur, stupid
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
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has 21.41 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, soccer