What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
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Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting.
On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear."
The hunters go out and return with two bears.
So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!"
But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board.
After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears.
After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank.
Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are.
The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Yo mama so fat she was the meteor that killed the dinos.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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