The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’