The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
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Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.
A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy.
Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:"
"Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride.
He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.
He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you.
His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?'
"And so, here we are!"
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex.
‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman.
The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Father's day!
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
Vote:
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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A guy gets out of the V.D.
Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long.
Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times.
After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.
"How's the food there?" asks the hooker.
"Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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