Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men?
You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
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She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra.
Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex.
The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying.
"You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother.
The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy.
As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room.
Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump.
The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole.
Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?"
The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Q: What's the worst part about sex?
A: When they wake up!
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom?
He wanted to keep the swelling down.