Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
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What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
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Cannibals capture three men.
The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes.
Then they are each given a final request.
The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family.
This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes.
Now it is the third man's turn.
He asks for a fork.
The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork.
As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs?
A: An invalid.
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Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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