Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart.
He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
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A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother:
"Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale."
"Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway?
He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.
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Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew over.
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