Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
A bittersweet victory.
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After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
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Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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Joke has 71.35 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving