Joke #3567

Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.

How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.

Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing: "Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…" "What did you see?" "I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…" "Wow horror!" "Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"

A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"

Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"

W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.

I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...

Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.

Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.