Joke #3621

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: couple, dirty, men, stupid, women
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: love, men
Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, men, work
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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has 31.93 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, men
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men