I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
What did God say after she made Eve? "Practice makes perfect."
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.