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Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon.
I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill.
It took forever to get to the top.
When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard."
The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
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If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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