Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!
Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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What do cows usually fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"