Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The cowlick.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it?
Jawbreakers.
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches.
"Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams.
"It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam.
"No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches."
"Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all.
In fact, he heard no sounds at all.
Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out.
"Talk to me, baby."
"Moo."
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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