What color socks do bears wear? (They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.