Joke #5224

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
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What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
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A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess. He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile. ‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
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Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
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What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
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What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
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