Joke #5224

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."

A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"

Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.

Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!

What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.

Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.