‘How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars…’ Steve Martin
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Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Yo mama so poor, when she found a penny she thought she had hit the lottery.
Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.
"I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver.
"No way! Get lost!" replied the boy.
"How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked.
"I said no way," replied the boy.
"What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver.
"No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy.
"Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered.
"No!" replied the boy.
"What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver.
The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
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