Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman?
PC Plod.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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A customer comes into the computer store.
I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics.
You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"