Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Vote:
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”