Joke #5060

"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?" "No..." "Inheritance."
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Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
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Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
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Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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Hit any user to continue.
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My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
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How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered? Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
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What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
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