A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
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Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
A new army computer is put through its paces.
An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’
The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal?
A: The lynx.
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.
Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
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