A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
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I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.