Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.