Joke #3731

Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."
Vote: has 73.80 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, life
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
Vote: has 78.50 % from 234 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, sex
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Yo mama
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Yo mama