Joke #3731

Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
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A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
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A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
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Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
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How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
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How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
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Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
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What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
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Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play
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What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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