Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Q:What did the black girl say while having sex? A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.