An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
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What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet?
You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans?
A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
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The lawyer’s motto:
a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
I wouldn’t say Harry was mean, but last Christmas Eve he fired a pistol in the garden and told the kids Santa had committed suicide.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud?
A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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A man went to visit his doctor.
“Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
“Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!”
“Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
Harry staggers exhausted into his house.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife.
‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry.
‘You idiot,’ says his wife.
‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’