Joke #3969

A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
Vote:
has 85.35 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: cop, drunk, men, money
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, life, money
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first? The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).
Vote:
has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Vote:
has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Vote:
has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
Vote:
has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, graduation, money, work
Q: Why did hitter kill himself? A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
Vote:
has 42.33 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money, morbid
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
Vote:
has 79.54 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, hunting, money