A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
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Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
ChuckNorris.com.
Don't go there.
It's like the United States of Chuck Norris...
No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
