A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
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The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill.
How irresponsible people are.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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A new army computer is put through its paces.
An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’
The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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