A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
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Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour.
Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman.
"But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
What's an extroverted IT professional?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall?
A: Captain's log.
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son:
"Dad, what is Windows 95?"
"Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."