A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
A system administrator has 2 problems: - dumb users - smart users
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day? Cutting edge.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.
Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.