A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Murphy's Laws of Computing 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!