A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"
Vote:
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
Vote:
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:
PASSWORD REJECTED.
NOT LONG ENOUGH!
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better".
So I installed LINUX.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
Vote:
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Vote: