Joke #3782

How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
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has 60.33 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: sex
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
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has 66.76 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex, stupid, women
A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier. The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughters private part. The next mornning the king checks the guys private part and there's green glitter all over it. More and more guys come along and the same thing keeps happening. Finally, one day this guy comes along. The king puts the green glitter on his daughters private part, and the next mornning checks the guys privates and there was no green glitter. The king is thrilled and offers the man his daughters hand in marriage. The guy smiles to accept with a mouth full of green glitter.
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has 79.42 % from 2212 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
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has 72.69 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
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has 73.94 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: sex
Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
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has 15.08 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: sex
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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has 28.99 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, sex