A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?