A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?"
The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack.
I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
How do elephants hide in the jungle?
Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries!
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys eating cherries...
How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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