Joke #3822

Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
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A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
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What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them.
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If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
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Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
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Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing? Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
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Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
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Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
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A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
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